I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize