Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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