I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
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