Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
