ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
