I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize