I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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