If that was your dad, he is hot
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
