mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
All I want is dick and wine.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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