Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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