dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
