So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
