Already got asked if we're dating
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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