Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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