explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
