so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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