I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
