That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
