Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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