guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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