singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
