i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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