i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
