There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
