i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
