FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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