i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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