I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
