It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
