His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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