i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
