got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I forget how to act sober
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
