do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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