So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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