Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
