I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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