i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
