Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
