just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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