we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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