I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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