He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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