even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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