Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
