I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
