she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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