We're like a lot better than the average bears
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
