My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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