He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
