I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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