I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
