i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Boobs are out for the taking
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Holy sore nipples Batman
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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