So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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