Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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