I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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