I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
