ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
