If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
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The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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