Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
