I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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