Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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