the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
