I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
