There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
