At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
