Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize