Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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