EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
