Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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