I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
