I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sorry about my life...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
