Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
