I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
