Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize